Eventually I will find the time to sit down and write something. I mean the story ideas are still there. Every now and again a theme will show up in my dreams, or just thoughts. I’m pretty certain that I need to pay attention to that sort of stuff, and will… eventually. I’m envious of people who have lots of time. I’m ready to be done with school.

I’m ready to work on doing something better with my life.

I’m hoping writing is part of that.

“”I wake up to find it’s another four aspirin morning and I dive in
I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday
When did society decide that we had to change
And wash a t-shirt after every individual use?
If it’s not dirty, I’m gonna wear it
I take the stairs to the car and there’s fog on the windows
(And I’m finding the words)
I need caffeine in the blood stream
I take caffeine in the blood stream
I grip the wheel and all at once I realize
(And you’re getting away)
My life’s a boring pop song and everyone’s singing along”

- Jack’s Mannequin, “I’m Ready”

There’s a story that’s been bouncing around in my head the last couple of days. I haven’t written anything down because I’m afraid that making even a tiny bit of it concrete might ruin the “work in progress” I’ve got going on with it right now. It’s not fleshed out, and there are some really major story/plot lines I need to work through, but I think I might have a decent story.

Sadly I fear that I will end up with what looks like a “copy cat” type story. We shall see, right… when the time comes to sit down and write it.

It’s nearly impossible to think of a domain that hasn’t been snagged already, really, when you think about it. I mean, there are a billion different combinations and ways to spell things that could equally have significant meaning to many different people. But the elite few have purchased all the “good” ones and the rest of us are left with what’s left.

There are some domains, however, that are so undeniably clever that a person can’t help but look at it and smile. I mean, I’ve done it. I’ve even though of clever ways to use .nu, or .me domains, and really, failed rather epically.

The old site that’s now somewhere in limbo I called Symposium. For a number of reasons this was important to me. Of course symposium.com is worth something close to $2,000 which I don’t have, nor would I spend on a virtual squatting zone. It left me searching, for various terms or words that might refer to the act of writing or creating. As I wasted hour upon hour looking and scouring the internet for ideas (via song lyrics, passages of plays/writings and just randomly clicking things) I looked up the word “tao.”

In Taoism, the basic, eternal principle of the universe that transcends reality and is the source of being, non-being, and change. – Dictionary.com

I wanted to get thetaoofme.com, which ironically is available, but the two o’s together looked funny, and it looks more like theta oof me rather than what it’s original intention was. But the definition of tao, or even Taoism, struck me. As an aspiring writer, I struggle with ideas that fleet across my mind and are lost. I ponder the possiblities of dreams become written reality. I feel dejected when I fail to write anything of substance. And I feel lost when I know I’ve not written anything at all.

The aspiring writer is often struggling with many things. This particular one is struggling with the ideas that seem to mirror those who’ve come before her, and ideas that seem obscure and unsellable in the market. I’m looking for my harmony… and hopefully, I’ll find my own tao.

The philosophical system evolved by Lao-tzu and Chuang-tzu, advocating a life of complete simplicity and naturalness and of noninterference with the course of natural events, in order to attain a happy existence in harmony with the Tao. – Dictionary.com

I did not catch it soon enough, and all of those old posts are gone. Unless I can somehow manage to repurchase the domain. *sigh* This is going to be sad, and rather ridiculous. I think I’ll be somewhat more upset than I thought I would be.

Now I’m going to have to see if I can find a way to get all of my old blog entries imported here. *sigh* Stupid domain registrar that effed me over on my domain.